


I Want To Own You

by Finn



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: BDSM, BDSM Big Bang, Humiliation, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-16 17:14:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finn/pseuds/Finn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Danny are dating but while Steve is very happy with his blond detective, he’s not satisfied with the sex they're having. But talking to Danny about what he really wants might cost him the person he loves above all others. And even if it does not: What are the chances of Danny liking the same things that Steve does?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I've never really written bdsm before, so this was a bit of a challenge for me. I researched what elements I used, but it might very well be that people will say 'um… that's not really how it goes.' So, I'm sorry in advance ;)  
> 2.Really big thanks to iam_space and ellie_pierson for being awesome beta readers  
> 3.That story was supposed to have an unhappy ending. Then I got a look at the cover ctbn60 made me, and damn. Had to rewrite the ending, because that picture deserves it. I hope you like the art as much as I do.  
> [Go here!](http://ctbn60.livejournal.com/337577.html#cutid1)
> 
> Last but not least: All Hawaii Five-0 characters herein are the property of CBS. No copyright infringement is intended.

Steve and Danny are together for three perfect months when things kind of start falling apart. Only, not really. It’s just small behavioral changes of Steve's that the man knows make Danny twitch and freeze. Make a shuddered look come over his eyes and Steve fucking hates himself for making Danny doubt himself.

It’s the last thing the man deserves after the disaster with his ex-wife.

It had taken a lot before Steve had managed to convince Danny that nothing between them would change at work, that Steve wouldn’t cheat on Danny and that no, he would if possible never leave the blond.

So, Danny hadn’t been the most secure man when they had started out, despite what he said and his behavior told.

But he had taken the leap of faith for Steve.

Only, now Steve is letting him down. He made Danny doubt himself, once again. And it is all Steve’s fault, because he should have known better. He knows what he likes, to a certain extent even needs, and despite what one wants to think, love isn’t enough in a relationship unless you are asexual. Sex is important too. And Steve has been an idiot to think that he can manage without getting what he craves.

And now, Danny is paying the price.

************************

Sitting in some dingy bar and throwing back another shot, Steve reflects that life is never as simple as you are led to believe when you are young.

A line of a Queen song flitters through his already slower than normal mind, ‘I feel like no one ever told the truth to me, about growing up and what a struggle it would be,’ and makes him snort.

“I’ll drink to that.” He mutters and promptly does. His… well, who the fuck is counting.  
Signaling for another one, he rubs both hands over his eyes and can’t help thinking that life is fucking unfair.

The least god could do with all the fucking shit people had to manage, would be to throw out handy telepathic abilities. At least then he would be able to read Danny’s mind. So he could know. So he wouldn’t be so fucking scared of losing the one really good thing he has in his life these days.

The thing is, when you are a teenager, trying to find that special someone, it is hard but at least mostly uncomplicated. Sure, you worry about what to say, what to do. You worry if your feelings are reciprocated or if you'll get a gentle or not so gentle ‘No, thanks’.

But for most, that's all it is. If everything works out, you are ready to ride into your happily ever after (or happy for the near future) and you don’t worry about what will happen when you are living it. That, and you are probably too young to know what you really wanted.

The awkward 15 year old, who had grown too fast and had no idea what to do with his long limbs, would have been ecstatic to have what he has now.

Because he and Danny… they are perfect. He loves his partner, and knows without a doubt that Danny loves him too.

They have passed the awkward stage of getting to know each other while being friends and so the transition to being lovers and partners in every sense of the word had been so easy, so them. Full of sarcastic remarks and gentle bickering, teasing and flirting and kissing and touching…

But it’s not enough now, because the grown up Steve knows what he wants, what he needs. It's not something he can really control, and Steve kind of hates himself for that, because Danny is his whole world and that should be enough.

But it’s not.

And no matter how hard Steve fights it, it’s starting to get to him. He tried to deny himself for Danny, to be happy with what he has, but already he can feel his mask breaking at times, and what’s worse is that he knows that Danny notices.

So he has to talk to Danny. Because he can’t let his other half think that it might be his fault. But he fears that the truth will be what will cost him the man in the end.

Chucking back the shot that’s put in front of him, Steve reflects that greed is indeed rightly one of the deadly sins. And if he alienates his partner tomorrow, the Saturday of a weekend without Grace, he might just shoot himself.

************************

They had started the Saturday late, preferring to laze around in bed, all lazy touches and kisses that didn’t lead to anything really.

Steve had left the bed once, to grab breakfast for the two of them and had had the pleasure to see Danny’s face without guard for the first time in weeks. It had made him feel guilty as fuck and more determined than ever to talk things over today. But that was for later.

First he wanted to spend his day with this incredible man before he might never get a chance to again.

He had wanted to feed Danny, to satisfy one of his own cravings but the man had only rolled his eyes and had stuffed his face himself.

Steve had ignored the stabbing pain in his chest area.

Afterwards, when they had moved to the beach, tossed a ball and had enjoyed the beautiful sun, Steve had manfully resisted when the urge to lather Danny up in sun screen and put a hat on his head had hit him, especially when Danny had done the former himself a few minutes later without being told.

The man was over 30 after all, he knew how to take care of himself.

If only Steve didn’t want to take over so much.

He doesn't realize he is staring at Danny, but suddenly he notices how the blond is watching him, body language saying he's on guard. From Steve. And Steve decides enough is enough. The stalling is doing nothing but hurting both of them. For better or worse, things are getting talked out today.

He puts the ball down and runs a hand over his hair before focusing on Danny. “How about we start dinner early? I need to talk to you, and I’d like to do it over food.”

The shutters come back down over Danny's eyes and Steve can practically see how he gathers his resolve all around him before asking him: “Are you dumping me? Because you can tell me that without food.”

The man’s voice is tight and Steve is hit with the thought that Danny has to have thought about this for quite some time.

“No! No, Danny.” Carefully, he steppes in front of the blond and pulls him into a tight hug. “I’m not dumping you. I love you, more than anything. But… just, let’s get dinner started. C’mon, I’ll start the fire if you grab the salmon?”

The grip around his waist tightens for a moment and his partners face practically buries itself in his chest, but then he is released and given a small, if trembling smile. “Love you too. And yea, start the fire, I’ll grab the fish and get the salad started.” Then he hastily hurries off with slightly unsteady steps, leaving Steve feeling as if he has swallowed stones.

Because, while Danny isn’t getting dumped, it might just as well be that Steve is alone at the end of the day either way.


	2. Chapter 2

The salmon is fresh so it should taste delicious but true to cliché, Steve can’t taste a thing. Still, he soldiers on, drinks his beer and tries to keep up conversation with Danny. That is, until the other man drops his fork, pushes his barely eaten meal aside and nearly empties the beer in one go. Then he determinedly stares at Steve and simply says: “Talk.”

And this is the moment of truth.

So he pushes his plate aside too, but instead of drinking his beer, he starts playing with the label on it.  
Danny is nice enough not to push, but that won’t keep forever, so Steve takes a deep breath, looks Danny in the eye and says: “It’s about… that is, I’m… Oh fuck this. I’m not happy with our sexlife.”

Danny had started to smile shyly at him, but after the – admittedly - badly phrased words – it freezes on his face. “…excuse me?”

Hastily, Steve grabs for his wrist and holds on to it before the man can get up. “Not the way you think, Danno. I swear. Our sex is great, awesome, phenomenal. It blows my mind. But…”

Danny had frozen when Steve had grabbed his hand, halfway between sitting and standing, but now, with a closed off face, he slowly sinks back into his chair. His face stays closed off though, his eyes shuttered, but at least he’s not leaving. Yet.

Steve would love nothing more than to rub his eyes, but no way is he letting Danny’s hand go. It feels as if the hold he has is everything that is keeping the man in his life.

“It’s not you, it’s me", he says which makes Danny laugh in a way that has nothing to do with happy or funny.

"No, Danny, listen to me. I thought I could push aside the other side of me because you make me so goddamn happy, because I love you so much. But I can’t live like this, Danno. I had to hide being gay for so long in the Navy and I can’t keep doing it with you. I didn’t want to tell you because I just wanted you every way I could get you but…”

Angrily, Danny tug’s at his hand until it’s free and cradles it against his chest. His body is curled away from Steve, as far as it’s possible while sitting in a chair and it’s clear that he’s hurt. Still, brave as always, he gathers his bluster around himself like a shield and demands: “What the fuck are you talking about, Steven?”

“I want to take care of you.”

There is a moment of silence, and it’s clear that Danny doesn’t understand. He looks confused and Steve can’t blame him, his words weren’t exactly clear.

By now the sun has started to set and soon it will be dark. Already, he can’t clearly see Danny’s face and maybe, the not being able to see each other, isn’t so bad.

Danny must think otherwise though because he lights the citronella candle between them. “Could you maybe use more words that that, Steve? ‘I want to take care of you’ tells me nothing.”

His tone is kind of flat and suddenly, Steve can’t stand it anymore. He pushes his chair back and tugs Danny out of his before pulling him over to the hammock they recently bought.

There, he settles down and pulls Danny into his lap, wrapping an arm around his waist and another once more around his right wrist.

“This, this is what I want. You call me bossy, and I am. You say I am dominating and a Neanderthal and its goddamn true, Danno. Only I tried not to be that way while we're at home but it’s not working.

I want to hold you and take care of you. I want to tell you to put sun screen on, or rather I want to put it on you and you to just accept it. I want you to sit in my lap and let me feed you and listen to me when I tell you to do things. I want to take care of you and protect you and make goddamn sure no one ever hurts you like Rachel did or the fucker last month who tried to stab you.”

By now, Danny has frozen up in his lap, stopped his struggling and protests and his hand is limp in Steve’s grip.

So, to put everything out on the table, he lowers his voice to a mere whisper and breaths: “I want to tie you up and have my way with you. I want to make you do things that will make you blush, and some that you might hate but will do anyway because it’ll be for me. I want to make you come so often that you pass out and I want to redden your ass when you do something I said no to.”

He takes a deep breath. “Just, I want to take care of you, make you able to relax, let you give up control.”

It’s all he has to say unless Danny has questions, but it doesn’t seem he has any for now. For once, he seems to have shocked Danny into silence because while the man moves his lips a little, no sounds come out. Instead, he stays frozen, staring into the horizon and not moving.

But he’s not scrambling of Steve’s lap, so the SEAL simply tightens his arms around his partner's waist and starts to slowly make the hammock swing, same as he has seen Danny do when Grace is upset and curled up in his lap.

It seems to work, because Danny slowly relaxes against his chest and moves his head to Steve’s shoulder, breathing softly against his neck.

************************

In the end, Steve has no idea how long they sit there, but when Danny finally speaks the candle in the distance is the only real illumination they have.

“So, you’re a… dom?”

“Kind of, yeah. I’m sorry.”

Danny huffs and buries his face further in Steve’s neck. “Don’t be sorry for what you are. Be sorry for making me fall for you before telling me about this. I never was interested in that stuff, the few cases I worked in that scene back in New Jersey weren’t my thing exactly. But I fucking love you, so I can’t just leave because you like some… exotic things in bed, not without at least having tried.”

Steve’s heart kind of double-thumps with surprise but then nearly stops when Danny kind of takes a shaky breath and mumbles into his shirt: “Just once I’d like to be enough for someone the way I am.”

“Danno, no! That’s not…”

But it seems that Danny has reached the end of his patience. He starts to get up and Steve lets him go without a fight.

“Don’t tell me no when it’s clearly a lie. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I were enough for you as I am, now would we?!” He raises a hand and halts Steve’s protest before he can voice it. “Don’t, not tonight. We’ll talk about it some more tomorrow, but now I’m tired and I have to think.”

He’s standing next to the hammock, hands pressed against his eyes for a second before he starts back into the house. A few steps in though he stops, returns and like every evening presses a kiss onto Steve’s lips with a soft “I love you.” Then he really heads in.

And that would give Steve hope like nothing else if not for the fact that Danny’s shoulders are slumped and he looks broken.

It’s a long time before Steve follows him back into the house, and only when he enters his bedroom does he notice that Danny’s not in their bed. A frantic search finds him sleeping in Grace’s bed and with a soft click Steve closes the door to the room again before sinking down outside in the hallway to the floor, biting his hand to keep from screaming.

Because Danny’s face was wet and he himself feels like crying.

Because Danny is right. He should have been honest before bringing them both into this situation that is hurting them both.


	3. Chapter 3

Sunday morning is tense.

They both clearly haven’t slept well, rings under their eyes and in Danny’s case also a bit red rimmed but no way is Steve commenting on that.

Still, Steve get’s his usual morning kiss and coffee and even if Danny isn’t meeting his eyes, he’s not keeping any more distance than normal.

They are out on the beach once more, with the sun starting to get high when Danny suddenly stands in front of him, still not meeting his eyes, and hands over the bottle of sun screen.

Steve feels frozen when he takes it with numb fingers, staring first at it, then at Danny’s bent head.

Finally, the man mumbles: “The other stuff you mentioned yesterday, we’re gonna have to talk about it some more. Later. But… but I can give you this for now, okay?”

Jesus fuck, Steve wants to cry again, but no way will he when Danny is standing there, turning red in the face and freezing up. Instead he opens the cap, pushes some of the cream into his hands and starts lathering Danny up.

He begins with his legs, then his torso, arms and neck and finishes with gently smoothing some over Danny’s nose and cheekbones with his thumbs.

His partner’s eyes are closed, the thin lids fluttering, and Steve wants nothing more than to kiss them. So he does, softly, and whispers, “Thank you.”

Because Danny loves him enough to try. And that’s more than Steve really expected. He cracked him last night but he will make damn sure that Danny won’t get broken in the process. He will leave him before that ever happens.

************************

The next week is tense, sexless and barely filled with affectionate gestures.

Danny still sleeps in Grace’s room and there hasn’t been any talking happening. But no way in hell will Steve push him on this, Danny will get all the time and space he needs even if that means that Steve spends more than one night sleepless in the hallway, silently guarding his partner through the night.

It’s easier during work hours, they have always clicked and no real thought is necessary. Chin and Kono notice something is off, but a careful “Working on it” is enough for them for now.

Friday afternoon they get Grace and that weekend is badly needed.

Danny seems relaxed for the first time in days, unbothered by anything while his daughter is around to be the center of his universe and once again Steve wishes they could keep Grace past Sunday. But it’s not to be, so he tries to enjoy the time he has with her and her father whose face clouds as soon as he’s alone with Steve and who prefers to sleep on the sofa.

Monday evening is tough, as always after a Grace weekend. It’s only when he steps into the study to write an e-mail that he notices that the laptop is missing.

There’s only one person who can have it so Steve turns around and goes to watch a game on TV. He can write it in the office the next day.

************************

He writes a lot of private mails from work during the week because it’s not until the weekend when he sees his laptop again. And then it’s not in the study but on Danny’s lap in the hammock.

Steve had spent the morning surfing with Chin and Kono, grabbed something to eat with them at Kamekona’s after. Danny had begged of, wanted to stay home and Steve had left him to it, still afraid to push. He’s still only clad in board shorts and flip flops, sunglasses pushed up on his head and he feels relaxed enough to sit down next to Danny and initiate their ‘hello’ kiss for the first time since their big talk.

Danny gives him a small smile before averting his eyes and blushing. Then, he visibly steels himself and crawls into Steve’s lap putting his head once more on the SEAL’s shoulder and pulls at Steve’s arm.

Nonplussed, Steve finally gets it and wraps his arms around Danny’s waist, feeling as if his heart is being squeezed by an invisible hand.

He thinks this might be another, tiny step but Danny evidently wants to take a fucking leap because when he seems comfortable, he says: ”So, let’s talk about what you want to do to me. I… read up on some stuff over the week but there’s quite a lot and… Well, I guess you’d know best what you like and I can tell you what I don’t want to do at all and maybe we can, like, figure some more stuff out.”

Steve has no words to answer for a moment, a long moment, long enough to make Danny crane his neck and watch him insecurely.

And just, no. His partner is trying to adjust to make him happy, he won’t let Danny get eaten up by insecurity so he nods as steadfast as he can and presses a kiss against the blond hair tickling his nose. “That’s okay, let’s talk.”

Danny blinks, and turns to look away once again. “Good, that’s good. So, just… I don’t want stuff to happen when Grace is around. Or at work. And…”

And here he trails off for a bit before continuing in a small voice: “And I don’t want other people around. Like, I don’t want to be shown off or shared. Is that… is that okay, Steve?”

His arms involuntarily tighten around Danny’s waist, making the other man squeak and he immediately loosens his grip. “Fuck, Danny, of course not with Grace around. And not around the office if you don’t want.”

And then he grabs Danny’s chin to make the man look at him. “And no one besides us. I won’t take you to clubs and I sure as hell won’t share you. No one gets to touch or see you besides me, okay? Never!”

And okay, the last bit was probably more possessiveness talking than reassurance but Danny’s eyes widen and he relaxes slightly, so whatever.

He takes a few deep breaths while rocking the hammock, since that seemed to have worked quiet well in relaxing Danny the last time, before he starts.

He thinks about starting with ‘I like to do… to my partner’ but doesn’t. Because this is not about a faceless partner, but about Danny. So he thinks about all the fantasies he’s had about Danny and says instead, “I want to tie you down. To the bed, or the table or a chair, whatever. You have so much energy, are always moving, I just want you helpless, without being able to touch. It would drive you crazy with want, I think. I’d make you beg and take it and do everything I want taking my own sweet time. I’d gag you when you won’t stop talking, maybe blindfold you. Or maybe not, because I love how your eyes darken when you want me.

I want you plugged when we’re at home. Short plugs that will open you up so wide and long ones that will tease your sweet spot until you’re dripping. I’d make you sleep with them at times and you’d only be able to take them out before work. And the moment we’d come home, I’d make you drop your pants and push a new one in. Maybe I’d use one after coming inside you, making you keep my cum all in.”

The quiet air around them coupled with the soothing swinging motion makes him sink into his fantasies while he describes them in detail.

“I’d make you sit in my lap whenever possible; most of all during dinners so I can feed you. And we’d share showers more often so I can wash your body and hair.”

Suddenly he notices that he has started to whisper his words into Danny’s ear and that the hand that is not wrapped around his partner’s waist has started to play with Danny’s left nipple.

The man in question is breathing heavy and a quick look confirms that his shorts are tented under the hand that’s slowly stroking himself.

Steve removes his hand from Danny’s nipple and then gently but firmly removes Danny’s hand from his cloth covered cock, only to rest his own hand on it instead. He doesn’t stroke it though, just covers it and his partner’s balls gently and continues talking.

“I’d never let you touch yourself again while we’re both at home. I wouldn’t let you masturbate, because your cock, your orgasms, would be mine. No longer yours, but mine. I can see you blushing so hard when you have to ask me if you can come. And maybe I’d make you wait. Or maybe I’d lock your pretty cock up so you can't touch or come at all. I’d fuck you and you would have to take it, all without getting anything out of it. And then, on the days you’ve been especially good, I’d unlock you and pull you into my lap, just as you are now. And I’d bring you off, slow, until you’re begging me to come.”

And he proceeds to do just that. Flexing his fingers gently he barely rubs over Danny’s dick, while licking and biting at the blonds' ear.

He has no idea how long it goes, but Danny clearly is caught up in whatever spell Steve has woven with his words, eyes unseeing and mouth panting and finally a broken “Please.” But it’s not until Steve softly whispers: “Come for me, Danno,” that the detective comes in his pants, a small gasp escaping him while he first tenses up and then grows lax in Steve’s arms.

Steve keeps up the rocking motion of the hammock and presses further kisses into Danny’s sweet smelling hair, all the while whispering endearments into his partner’s ear. This was the first sexual contact they’d had in weeks, but Steve is no less worried. Because instead of talking seriously about what would change between them, Steve spun a fantasy for them. Sure, it was stuff he really wanted to do to Danny, but Danny coming to his words was in no way a guarantee that he would like these things being done to him for real.

Ignoring his own cock that’s pressing up against Danny, he leans his head back and enjoys the feeling of the limp noodle of a man in his arms.

************************

It didn’t really take long for Danny to come out of his blissed out stupor and start complaining about his dirty pants, even if he wouldn’t look at Steve and was blushing really hard while doing so.

So while Danny ran off to get cleaned up and find his composure, Steve went inside to prepare a quick salad for lunch.

He’s just about to reach for a second plate when he hesitates.

The sun screen, the lap sitting… Danny had taken these small, non-sexual steps for him and Steve had appreciated it very much. Maybe he is allowed to push this small thing.  
But then he thinks back to the hammock and flinches a bit. Or maybe not, he doesn’t want to push Danny.

Resolute, he makes a grab for the second plate, when Danny’s voice stops him.

“Don’t.”

Letting his hand fall, Steve slowly turns around to gaze at his partner.

Clad in another pair of shorts and T-shirt, hair wet from the quick shower, the blond still seems a bit embarrassed and unable to meet his eyes, that is until he takes a deep breath and says: “That was another thing you wanted, wasn’t it? Me in your lap and you… f-feeding me.”

Danny stumbles a bit over the last few words and the blush makes a reappearance. “We… we can try it.”

And Steve can’t help but give him a blinding smile, which makes Danny avert his gaze once more.

But there’s no sense in talking to him about it. It’s a small thing and Danny had obviously thought about it, so for now Steve is willing to go along with it.

So he fills the single plate and cuts some bread before grabbing everything along with a glass of water and putting it on the table. Then he sits down, pushes the chair a bit further back and motions Danny over, all the while watching his partner with eagle eyes.

It’s not that Danny comes reluctantly, but he’s not fast either. Careful probably is the best word. He sits slowly on Steve’s lap, shoulder pressed to shoulder, legs sideways over Steve’s.

His hands settle on his knees and Steve can see how his knuckles whiten when he clenches them into the material of the shorts.

Steve opens his mouth, wanting to reassure Danny, call it off, but he stops. The first time is always the hardest, and Danny is independent to a fault, used to taking care of himself and others. Steve letting on that he’s aware of his discomfort will probably make things worse.

So instead he uses a hand to turn Danny’s head and captures his mouth in a soft kiss.  
“I love you. So much.”

And Danny wanted to reply, had opened his mouth already, but then his stomach gurgled and both of them had to laugh.

“Let’s get you fed then.”

Gentle words, soft tone.

But still, the knuckles hadn’t relaxed.

But that’s okay, they will work on that.

Running a soothing hand down Danny’s back, he puts a bit of lettuce on the fork before moving it to Danny’s mouth. He can practically see the struggle going on behind those expressive eyes but he doesn’t push, just waits patiently and lets the fork hover. And finally, Danny’s mouth opens slightly and he lets the fork pass.

It’s Steve’s turn to take a bite and then Danny’s again, followed by a bit of bread for both of them. Taking a sip of water, Steve gently holds the glass to Danny’s lips and urges him to move his head back slightly to take a sip.

Then it’s back to eating.

There’s no sound in the kitchen apart from them chewing and swallowing and it’s oddly soothing.

After the last bite, Steve pushes the plate away and gently pets Danny’s stomach, pleased to see that his partner’s hands are lying relaxed in his lap now.

“You okay?” he softly asks.

For a long time, there’s no answer, but then, with a soft sigh Danny relaxes his head against Steve’s shoulder in a way that Steve’s rapidly getting used to and just as softly replies: “It’s not… it’s not bad. I’m not feeling entirely comfortable with this because feeding myself… it’s such a basic thing to do. But letting you do this… it’s okay, I can get used to it.”

Wrapping his arms around Danny, Steve ponders his words, not sure if he likes them. Sure, he gets off on making his partners do things they’re not comfortable with but he doesn’t want to make Danny do something _he’s not comfortable with_.

With an inaudible sigh the SEAL can’t help but think how much easier this is with a partner who’s used to this lifestyle. But there’s no way he ever would trade Danny for one of them. They’ll both have to learn and maybe this, Danny getting used to being fed sometimes, is just like him getting used to not letting the TV run in the night or taking showers that last forever.

But the other stuff…

“So, does this mean you want to try this? Because it’s okay if we keep on taking baby steps, Danno, but you have to let me in on the game plan. Because you’re too important to me to step wrong.”

Danny’s sigh can be heard _and_ felt it’s so deep. But he nods and gives a barely audible: “I said I’d try it and I will.”

So Steve pushes and pulls at him until he’s straddling Steve so they’ll be face to face for the next part.

“Then it’s time to lay down the rules, Danno. First of all, a safe word. I’d like to go with the traffic light system. Yellow if you want to slow down or want to ask questions. Red if you want whatever we’re doing to stop. Green if it’s alright to keep going. Think you can remember that?”

He only get’s a nod but no protest so he takes it as a sign to continue.

“Everything we’ll lay down now goes only if it’s just us and at home. So, while eating, you’ll sit on my lap and you’ll be fed. Any other time, you can sit where you want; I’ll pull you over if I feel otherwise. You’ll take your showers with me, I’ll get you after my swim. I wasn’t joking when I said I don’t want you to touch your cock anymore. So, while showering I’ll do the cleaning and no jerking yourself off, either when you’re alone or while we’re having sex. No orgasms unless I say you can. Which brings us to the next point. You need to pee, you ask me if you can go.”

He can feel the man stiffen on his lap but the blond seems to sense that Steve’s not finished yet because he doesn’t say anything. Yet, Steve is sure.

“We’ll get you a plug, which you will wear when told to and I expect you to do what I tell you.” Here he pauses to take a deep breath. “I’ll punish you if you don’t. Nothing too bad in the beginning, because you’ll be learning. But, yeah. Punishment. I’ll expect you to try everything at least once, except if you have good reasons not to. After that, we can talk about doing specific things again. I’ll probably add stuff as we go along but for now, that’s the basics.”

By now, Danny is trembling, his fingers once again cramped around his knees and Steve bets his ass that his partner wants nothing more than to get up and run. But Danny is nothing if not brave and so all he does is take several deep breaths to seemingly collect himself.

“Steve, that is… The… the peeing… and the, the punishment. And not touching myself. I’m not sure I can…”

Steve can feel his heart clench in his chest. He knows it’s a lot to ask of Danny, and if they go along with this, he’ll end up asking for even more. But Danny said to go ahead, so that’s what he’ll do.

And he’ll do his damndest and not think about Danny whispering ‘Why can’t I be enough the way I am?’

“You can, Danno. You will, I’ll make sure of it. For now, we’re going to bed, though. Sleep on this. You can think about it and still bow out tomorrow, okay? I will wake you in the morning and then you can tell me what you’ve decided.”

Danny nods, but doesn’t look him in the eye. So Steve gently takes a hold of his chin and forces eye contact.  
"Hey, no matter how all this plays out. I love you, okay? I love you."

They go upstairs and if everything goes okay, this will be the last night for the near future where Danny undresses himself.

Later in bed, when they’re cuddled next to each other, something Steve had missed so very badly, he also doesn’t think about how he practically pressured Danny into this. Because he’s pretty sure Danny thinks he’ll leave if he doesn’t get what he wants. And Steve just wants to cry and curse himself, because as much as he loves Danny he’s not sure if he can stay if this doesn’t work out.

He’s not sure when he falls asleep. But he knows that Danny is still awake when he does.

************************

In the morning he gets up quietly for his swim. Danny is asleep but curled up into himself whereas normally he had always been wrapped around Steve.

He swims longer than he normally does, pushes himself harder, but he needs it. He’s nervous, scared of what Danny will tell him when he gets back. But in the end he can’t put it off.

He makes his way back, sits on the bed next to Danny’s curled up body and starts waking him by running his hand gently through his messed up hair. It takes a bit, but when Danny finally opens his eyes, he gifts Steve with a gentle, sleepy smile. Another thing that Steve has sorely missed.

But then he awakes further and the smile makes room for a serious and grim look. For a second they do nothing than stare into each other’s eyes, but then Danny turns his head and presses a kiss into Steve’s palm.

“I can’t leave you without having tried.”

It’s whispered against his palm, barely more than a breath. And it makes Steve feel so very small. But at the same time there’s this elated feeling that’s starting to spread in his chest. He finally has Danny were he has always wanted him. Steve’s to take care of.

Standing up, he gently pulls Danny after him towards the bathroom and removes both of their clothing, nothing they haven’t done before.

Inside the shower he spends minutes just holding Danny to his chest under the running water, letting the other man hide his face in Steve’s chest. Then, it’s like every other time they’ve shared a shower. Washing each other while trading lazy kisses.

They exit the shower after what feels like hours and here’s where it differs from their usual routine again. Instead of letting Danny towel himself dry, he softly tells the blond, “Let me,” before doing it himself.

Then, it’s back to the bedroom where he dresses first Danny and then himself, before making Danny stand still while he rummages through his drawers. He’s organized, so it only takes a few seconds to find what he’s looking for.

“This is makeshift; I’ll order a real one later on. In fact, we will do some browsing later to find what kind of toys we might like.” Then he proceeds to wrap the thick belt around Danny’s waist before using two ties to secure Danny’s wrists to either side. It gives the man a few inches to move his arms but not too much. His arms are basically useless. He has no choice now but to depend on Steve.

Danny lets him do all this without saying a word so Steve just kisses him when he’s done and hopes for the best.

They head downstairs then, Danny a bit more gingerly than usual, trying out his balance, and Steve watching him like a hawk, unwilling to let Danny get hurt.

He makes them breakfast, something healthy for him and something sugary for Danny. He had thought about making Danny eat healthier but for now, he’s decided to leave the man his small routines.

When it’s time to eat, he gently pulls Danny onto his lap and then moves him around till they’re both comfortable. It’s a bit like positioning a doll, because with his arms bound, Danny can’t really help.

He tries not to worry about the fact that Danny is hardly speaking to him, keeping to monosyllabic answers.

It’s a beautiful day outside, as it usually is, but instead of going out after breakfast, Steve makes them stay indoors. He thinks this will be easier for Danny without the additional feeling of being exposed. Later, when they’ve gotten comfortable. But not now.

Instead he stretches out on the sofa, Danny between his legs and positions the laptop in front of them. Time for toy shopping. He's looking forward to it, because these toys will be for Danny and him. Sure, he played before but either it was in Clubs that provided toys, or his partners had their own but he never bought something that he would keep. It just hadn't seemed like a smart thing to do while in active service.

He Googles around until he finds a site for a shop that’s located in Hawaii and will deliver more or less ASAP. After that, it’s only a matter of looking for what he likes.

He goes for the plugs first and tries to get Danny into the mood by whispering into his ear what he’ll make him do with them and is more than delighted to see that Danny’s trousers are tenting.

He adds a hand to the mix, gently caressing the cloth covered mound while he selects – as promised - a small thick one and a slightly slimmer but longer one. Then it’s time for some nipple clamps, because he thinks Danny will like them - and he even gets Danny to admit that he’d prefer the magnetic ones because they seem less likely to get caught in his chest hair.

He adds the promised belt with D-Rings to the cart and matching wrist cuffs. And then, simply because he wants to see Danny’s reaction, he jumps to the Paddle section of the site. “This will mostly be for punishment,” he says to the man in his arms and presses a kiss to his cheek.

It’s kind of predictable how Danny turns his head and looks away from the laptop. But it kind of has to be done, so Steve adds a plain paddle to the shopping list before sending the order off. It’s worth the extra fee to be able to receive the order probably by tomorrow, the day after at the latest.

Once finished, he puts the laptop down and spends the next hour cuddling with Danny. Having his arms tied down restricts Danny's movement. At first, when he wanted to turn he squirmed around but finally got tired of it and asked – blushing and with averted eyes – for Steve to move him a bit further up his chest. It's a step in the right direction, Steve thinks.

************************

The rest of the day is spent nonsexual. Steve thinks it's best to ease Danny into this. He still makes him drink as much as possible, to make him get used to asking for the bathroom.

The first few times he could basically see how Danny tried to suppress the urge but in the end always gave in. Another step in the right direction and for now Steve resists denying him. There will be time for that kind of play later on.

He carefully doesn't think about how Danny has only spoken to him when needed today. His humor nor temper hadn't shown yet. Maybe, he thinks, it's because their roles are different now. They both have to get used to this.

And that night, when he has Danny in his arms, he crushes him tightly to his chest. Danny will get used to this, to the new them. He will.

He has to.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, before work, is interesting.

It's very obvious how Danny still is not comfortable with the whole setup, although at least breakfast is somewhat enjoyable. He switches between feeding Danny and himself, and trading lazy kisses.

But then, when they reach the door, it's time to switch personas.

He carefully releases Danny's arms and moves the ties to the drawer near the door. Indicating the spot, he tells Danny, "I have small lockable chest that we'll put here. It's where most of our indoor stuff will go before we leave the house. And when we come home, I expect you to put on what we left here right away. Understood?"

It gets him a nod, but it's not enough so he grips Danny's chin to move his head so their eyes can meet and repeats his question. "Understood, Daniel?"

The blond man swallows and it seems to take ages, but in the end, he gets words. "Understood, Steve."

************************

Work is… surprisingly easy. He notices how Danny gravitates to Chin and Kono but he lets it pass. They're at the office, so he can let him have his freedom. Fieldwork will maybe take some adjusting, but Danny has been a cop for years, he's pretty sure that he can compartmentalize.

He's proven right later in the day, when they're called to help with a robbery turned hostage-taking. The two of them work as seamlessly as ever, and Danny even starts to bicker with him. Steve wants to fist pump and cheer but instead he just smiles at Danny, enjoying the way the man is waving his arms around animatedly. It's the first time in much too long.

************************

They get home late that night, both hungry and tired and find a nondescript parcel waiting for them. Fast delivery, indeed.

He sees Danny eying the package apprehensively but doesn't comment. Instead he picks it up and lets them into the house.

They remove their shoes and Steve notices how Danny eyes the ties on the bureau. "Leave them", he tells him. "We'll eat something and then we'll have a look at what we got. Don't think we'll need the ties anymore, I'll put them away them later."

He makes Danny sit on the sofa, brings him a beer and then starts preparing dinner. The package on the kitchen table mocks him though, and in the end he can't wait and opens it. It's not much, but if everything goes okay, they will add to it in the future. For now though, it's everything he needs. He removes the toys from their packaging, examines them to be sure of smoothness and then cleans the plugs. Only when he's ready does he call for Danny.

"Danno, come here please," he calls.

It doesn't take long, and soon the blond is standing next to him, eyeing the setup on the kitchen table warily. "That's not dinner," he says and Steve has to smile a bit.

"No, it's not, smart ass, now strip."

He can't resist kissing him, once he’s standing there, naked and golden and perfect. Starts with his lips, before mouthing down his neck to his strong shoulders. He turns him around in his arms and presses kisses to his neck and shoulder blades before carefully bending him over a kitchen chair.

"Stay", he whispers into his ear and then makes a grab for the slim plug.

For a moment, he contemplates using lube, but then he moves it to Danny's mouth and says, "Open up and suck, Danno."

The way Danny responds is beautiful, for the first time without hesitation, and Steve thinks it might be because it's nothing that unusual. They have been in this position so often, even if the thing Danny normally sucks are Steve's fingers instead of black silicon.

He enjoys the hollowing of his partner's cheeks a bit longer, before removing the plug and pushing it gently but without hesitation into his hole. There is no teasing, no fingering, just the addition of another sign of Steve's ownership.

That in itself is a bit arousing but he's not really hard. It pleases him on a totally different level to see the plug where only he is allowed to enter, opening Danny up for him. This is not about sex, not really. It's about something way more primitive. It's more about making Danny aware of whom he gave himself to.

He presses a kiss to Danny's cheek and helps him upright again. The moment he moves though, Danny gasps and his knees nearly buckle. The plug must have hit the prostate spot on.

Steve can't help but grin and shifts to bear Danny's weight till the man can find his footing. Then, he carefully helps Danny back into his trousers and shirt, and reaches for the belt and cuff.

Smooth, dark leather with shiny buckles and Steve nearly drools at the sight of them, at imagining them around Danny. The belt comes first, buckled around his partner's waist, D-rings carefully positioned at the sides.

Then come the cuffs. Steve carefully takes Danny's right hand into his and proceeds to kiss and gently bite the tender skin on the inside of his wrist, licking and sucking it, enjoying the sounds Danny makes. He knows how sensitive Danny is here and uses it shamelessly to arouse the man.

After a few minutes, he can't resist any longer though and wraps the dark leather around it before connecting the D-ring of the cuff to the on the belt before repeating the process with the left wrist.

Once again, Danny is helpless, can't use his hands and he looks so goddamn gorgeous that Steve can't resist. He kneels down, unzips Danny's trousers, carefully pulls out his half hard cock and swallows him in one go, ignoring Danny's shout.

He loves the weight on his tongue, the feel, the taste of Danny in his mouth and tries to show the man with swirls and sucks and licks. And then, when he hears Danny give that little gasp he always does when he's close… he pulls off and stands up.

If Danny was gorgeous before, he is breathtakingly beautiful now.

Hands straining against the cuffs binding him, mouth open and panting, eyes wide and unfocused. When no more stimulation comes though, they snap to Steve's face though and for the first time in way too long, his Danny makes an appearance.

"What the fuck… Steve, get your mouth back on me."

And it's so good to hear, to not have timid, submissive Danny in front of him that he nearly obeys.

But while he wants his spirited Danny, things also have changed. If everything works out, if Danny gets comfortable with all this, he will soon have both.

For now though, dinner still has to be finished and he can teach Danny a lesson at the same time.

He presses a kiss to Danny’s mouth before gently pushing the man onto a kitchen chair, where he positions Danny's legs next to the chair legs, leaving him wide open, red cock standing up from his opened trousers and drooling, fingers twitching and obviously straining to touch himself with no hope of being able to do so.

"You'll just have to wait. And if you're good, maybe I'll let you come after dinner. For now though, I'm gonna finish making our food. And I want you to stay hard ‘til I'm finished. You can think of me and rock on your pretty new plug but you can't come. If you do or you're soft when I'm finished, the paddle will be the next thing we'll try, understood?"

He stares hard into Danny's eyes while teasingly running a finger over the thick vein of Danny's cock, dipping his finger into the slit, before removing his hand completely. All the while, Danny is staring up at him breathlessly, flushed red with what Steve bets are equal parts arousal and embarrassment. It seems to take minutes, but finally… finally Danny nods and whispers, "Understood."

Steve gives him a smile and then turns around to the counter to finish cutting the fish. In the reflection of the window, he can see Danny's hips starting to rock and he can't help but smile. He has a feeling they will be okay.


	5. Chapter 5

The following two weeks are a learning process. He keeps Danny's wrists bound the entire time they're home, trying to get him to depend on Steve. And Danny complies wonderfully. He does what he's told, and if the state of his arousal is anything to go by, he enjoys it too.

There hasn't been need for punishment yet, something Steve is glad for, but knows won’t last. But they'll cross that bridge when they come to it. For now, he's entirely focused on getting Danny to accept that his orgasms are no longer his own, same as his cock.

They're sitting on the sofa watching a game, or at least Steve is watching. Danny is wriggling around on his lap, unable to sit still. It's not as if Steve minds though, because all that wriggling is really pleasurable. And to be fair, he doesn't think Danny can help it.

Whimpers reach his ear and absentmindedly, he presses a kiss to Danny's cheek, right next to the strap of the newly bought gag and lets his left hand slide over the man’s chest, gently petting him and absentmindedly twisting his nipples when the urge strikes him.

His right hand is gently and slowly stroking the blond's cock that rises up from his opened trousers, angry red and weeping, as it has been for half an hour now, helped along by the plug in his ass, and Steve's continuous and absentminded playing.

He likes Danny like this, clothed but with his junk hanging out, in part because it's hot but still makes him seem vulnerable, but also because Danny gets very embarrassed about it. And that's something Steve can hardly resist, which is why sometimes, he makes Danny run around like this, just for the pleasure of seeing him blushing madly.

When they reach halftime, Danny is a total mess. Drool has escaped, he's trembling and whimpering and tears are sliding down his cheeks. But the handheld bell, which they use instead of safe words when playing with the gag doesn't ring, soft sounds from involuntary movements aside.

Steve gently pushes him to stand up and moves him so he's standing in front of Steve, his cock on height with Steve's mouth. And Steve can't resist. It's Danny after all. He leans in and gently presses a kiss to his cockhead, lapping at the precum that's dripping freely before following it up with a long slide of his tongue along the thick vein on the underside.

Then he leans back and enjoys how Danny's hips move forward to follow him and his sobs get swallowed up by the gag. He gently but firmly lets his hands rub Danny's thighs and murmurs: "It's okay, Danno. Calm down, it's okay."

It takes a bit, until the sobbing has calmed down and Danny is able to focus on him. His beautiful blue eyes are clouded and blown wide and Steve just wants to eat him up. But he won't because Steve? Has a plan.

Catching Danny's eyes, he gives him a lazy smile and then helps the man out of his trousers. "We have about eight minutes left before the game continues. And after all your wriggling in my lap; I really need to fuck you. So c'mon, kneel on the sofa and bend over."

It's a matter of trust how Danny obeys instantly, because without use of his hands it's not easy balance wise, but Steve is right beside him, ready to move in and help if needed. It's not though, and when Danny is bent over, in nothing but his shirt which frames his ass so beautifully, Steve can't help but give said ass a slap, admiring the red that springs up right away.

They haven't done much with spanking yet, but Steve likes it and tries to put it into play so Danny won't associate it later on only with punishment. It can be pleasurable and he has a feeling Danny might like it, too. At least, he hasn't protested yet. In fact, no safe word use whatsoever up ‘til now, neither yellow, nor red.

Pushing these thoughts aside, he focuses on the fest in front of him and lets his fingers trail down to Danny's hole which is lubed and plugged and ensures that Steve wont have to take time to prepare him now. He pulls himself out, removes the plug gently but firmly and seats himself into his partner the same way.

And then he fucks him, focused on his own pleasure, long slides that he knows will push against Danny's prostate.

"Don't forget Danno, no coming until I say so."

He knows it's something Danny won’t really be able to control once the stimulation gets to be too much, and Danny's been on the edge for nearly an hour now. It shouldn't be a problem though, because just then orgasm rolls over Steve and he shoots his load into his partner.

For a moment he bends forward and rests his chest on Danny's back, catching his breath, but then he straightens, pulls out and presses the plug back in. He helps Danny straighten, presses a kiss to his shoulder and looks down at his still weeping cock.

"So good for me, Danno. My perfect Daniel."

Danny is beyond reason now it seems, nearly out of it, so Steve sits back down, but this time he doesn't pull Danny into his lap. Instead he points to the space on the floor between his knees and says: "Kneel down here, Danno."

He doesn’t make Danny kneel often, blow jobs aside, because he's not really into that and also because it's hell for Danny's knee. But this, now, probably won't take long.

He puts a finger under Danny's chin and moves it up so their eyes meet. "You've been really good, Danno. I think you deserve to come now, hm?" He's getting a frantic nod as an answer and can't help but grin. "Thing is though, the game is about to start, so you'll have to do it yourself."

He leans back and enjoys the involuntary movement of Danny's hands, which get caught right away by the wrist cuffs. The keening that follows is music to his ears. "Right, nearly forgot. You can't. Well, guess I'll have to help you anyway."

He moves his cargo clad leg between Danny's spread knees and gently presses up against his cock. "That's all the help you get though. The rest you have to do yourself."  
And then he proceeds to stare at the TV, keeping focus on Danny out of the corner of his eye.

The blond is frozen, maybe because of the pleasure of pressure against his cock or because of the implications of what Steve said. Either way, he doesn't move until Steve says absentmindedly, "You don't want to come? I can remove my leg if you want."

His only answer is another keen, and then gentle rocking movements start against his leg. He can see that Danny has his eyes pressed closed and he bets the blush in his face is more embarrassment than arousal at the moment. He can't resist and says: "Just like a puppy, humping away." And yep, the color deepens.

It's no easy task for Danny. Without his hands, he loses balance and rhythm quite often and slides off. After twenty minutes he still hasn't reached orgasm and is bent over Steve's leg, crying and sobbing while his hips move restlessly, trying to get the friction needed.

"Hey, shh, it's okay." He manhandles Danny back into his lap and let's the man hide his face in his neck, all the while rocking him, all the while murmuring, "It's okay, it's okay."

What he does not do though is touch Danny's cock, even when the man pumps his hips, trying to get friction from Steve's stomach. Instead, he tightens his grip around Danny and stills the man's movements. "None of that now, Daniel. You had your chance and now it's gone. Later maybe. But not now."

There are more tears and struggling, but Steve rides it out, not letting up the hold he has and continues to rock softly, until Danny finally calms down, his cock finally softening a bit. "That's it, Danny. You get to come when I say you do. And you won't when I don't want you to. That's how it is."

************************

The rest of the day, Danny is back to being timid and silent, but clingy and Steve indulges him. There are no more sexual gestures or touches, instead there is a lot of cuddling and Steve does what he likes most and pampers Danny, putting them both into a bubble bath for over an hour and afterwards reading to him while the man is wrapped around him.

It's peaceful and exactly how Steve imagined the two of them being.

At bedtime, as always since they have started this new aspect of their relationship, they make their way up into the master bedroom and Steve removes Danny's wrist cuffs from the belt around his waist, and instead locks them around part of the headboard.

Then he get's the massage oil and starts in on Danny's back before moving him around and doing his chest. It's soothing, the steady movement and glide across warm, smooth skin and Steve gets kind of lost in it, same as Danny if his half closed eyes are any indication.

When he's done, he cuddles up to Danny, pressing his face against the man's shoulder and whispers: "No sound. Or I'll stop."

And then, slowly but steadily, he starts in on Danny's dick, sliding his hand up and down in the same rhythm he had used on the rest of his body.

Danny's body next to him arches, but he keeps still, and Steve isn't cruel enough to make him wait long. Instead he keeps up a steady rhythm until Danny explodes, arching his back up in a nearly impossible bow, before slumping down exhausted.

He makes the half asleep man lick up his release from his hand and after that, and the exhausting day the blond had, it doesn't take long for Danny to fall asleep, but Steve isn't there yet.

Instead he keeps softly petting the spent cock, making the sleeping man give a soft whine, curling his hand around Danny's entire package before curling himself around the bound man. Only then, with Danny's most vulnerable part protected by his hand, and the man's steady breath in his ear, does he succumb to slumber himself.

************************

For another week, everything seems fine. They master Grace Time without problem, and Steve actually thinks they're doing well.

But then, Chin and Kono pull him aside while Danny is grabbing lunch and start grilling him if everything is alright. He's not really getting what they mean, though.

"No, guys, everything is okay between us, good even."

The two cousins share a look and finally, Kono continues. "Well, maybe it has something to do with Grace or Rachel?"

But enough is enough, and Steve doesn't like being interrogated when he has no idea what even for. "Look, would you mind telling me what's going on? Because I have no idea what you two want from me."

So he's losing his patience a bit, but sue him. They are implying that something is wrong with Danny, and it's his job, now more so than before, to take care of Danny and fix things that are wrong.

"He just looks down, brah", Chin says. "Less ranting, if any. Not so many jokes and smiles, unless he’s talking about Grace - and if it was possible, I'd say he looks smaller. We knew you two had a fight, or whatever, about a month ago, but you gave the impression that everything was okay again. Only Danny looks as if it's not. Are you sure you don't know what's bothering him?"

Steve doesn't, not really. And he doesn't really know what they mean either, but after the talk, he proceeds to watch Danny like a hawk for the rest of the day. It doesn't take long to see what they mean, and Steve would really like someone to punch him right about now. Because how the hell could he have missed this?

Because one thing is for sure, Danny is not okay.


	6. Chapter 6

He takes a few days to figure out what's wrong, days of worrying and constant observation and sneakily pampering Danny more than normal. That Danny let's it happen is strange in itself and another alarming sign. But it's also what tips Steve off in the end.

Fact one, the persona Danny has taken on at home is the one that shows up at work, the one that makes Chin and Kono worry.

Fact two is much more alarming and ties Steve's stomach in knots.

Danny is unhappy.

He tries to corner Danny a few times, tries to subtly ask what's going on, but Danny ignores him pretty much and pleads ignorance, but by now Steve has at least an idea about what's going on.

He takes leave the rest of the week and does the same for Danny, ignoring the man's protest. That evening, he sets his roughly planed idea into motion, hoping he's not making this whole thing worse than it apparently already is. Because the plan? Is setting Danny up to fail.

He tells Danny to strip, gags him then and ties him to their bed, his ankles this time too, leaving the man with spread legs. Next come the nipple clamps, put on tight enough that it makes Danny wince at first, followed by a vibrating butt plug. He's not finished yet, but stops to firmly gaze into Danny's eyes.

"We're playing a game, Daniel. I'm going to leave you here while I make dinner, and it's your job not to come. If you do, it's time for the paddle. Understood?"

And Danny nods, because let's be fair, at the moment there is not much to make him orgasm. But as said, Steve's not finished.

He pulls out two small bullet vibrators and some thin, but really soft rope, which he uses to tie one bullet so it rests against Danny's perineum and the other one against his frenulum. When he's finished, Danny's eyes are wide and staring at him, but it's nothing to the grimace he makes when Steve turns on all three vibrators. One would think Steve had electrocuted him.

Giving the head of Danny’s penis a quick squeeze, he leaves with the words, "Don't forget, no coming."

Danny won't stand a chance. His body and the vibrators won't let him.

************************

He doesn't leave Danny alone for long. Once orgasm hits the vibration will be overstimulation, and while that might be fun if controlled, it's nothing he wants Danny to experience for a long while alone.

So he carefully listens, gives it about ten minutes and yeah, timed more or less perfectly. Reentering the room, he's faced with a man whose stomach is painted with his release and who's struggling against his bindings, obviously trying to escape.

Steve won't say he's running, but he's definitely faster than normal, getting to Danny's side within seconds and turning off the vibrators, before removing all three of them carefully. Next follow the nipple clamps, the gag and then he frees Danny's ankles, before sitting down next to the man, soothingly petting his hair.

He has no idea how long it takes, but finally Danny curls around him as much as his bound arms allow him and mumbles with a hoarse voice: "I'm sorry, Steve. I tried, I really, really…"

"Shh, it's okay, Danno. It's fine." He keeps up the petting, focusing on Danny's breathing that slowly changes from pants into a softer, more normal rhythm. Only then does he get up and grab the paddle.

Danny eyes him apprehensively, stuttering: "But you said… you said it's okay, you said…"

"And it is okay", Steve interrupts. "Making mistakes is okay. But that doesn't mean you won't get punished for it. I told you so beforehand. Now, turn around. You know your safe words?"

Danny nods after some hesitation, but Steve makes him repeat it out loud, before positioning the man on his knees and elbows, due to the cuffs stretching his arms out in front of him.

He steps beside him, testing the angle… and lets the paddle fly.

He keeps the strength of the slaps normal, focused at first on the buttocks, before moving at times to the thinner skin where thigh meets ass. Around 50, he switches hands, and around 80 Danny starts to cry and sob. At around 100, Steve, feeling sick, has his suspicion confirmed.

Danny won't use his safe word.

The paddle gets thrown across the room, with an anger that Steve hasn't felt in a very long time. He's not sure though with whom he's angry. It's a toss up between Danny and himself.

First though, he has to take care of this wonderful, ornery man that is seemingly unable to trust Steve. Whom Steve now won't be able to trust either, not with this. Because Steve had trusted Danny to say stop if needed.

************************

What follows is lots of aftercare.

Steve has a moment of indecision, where he can't decide if he wants to tend to Danny's ass or hold the man, but the need to hold and comfort wins out. Danny probably needs body contact and so does Steve.

So he releases the man's wrists, this time from the cuffs entirely, and pulls him into his arms, carefully positioning them in a way that keeps Danny's ass away from the mattress.

He makes soothing noises, runs his hands in slow and hopefully calming strokes over every stretch of skin he can reach and focuses on keeping his breath even, knowing after all this time that Danny will match his ‘til they breath as one.

Only after, much later, does he clean Danny up, rubbing soothing lotion into the abused flesh before tugging a blanket around the man. He grabs some finger food for them, and proceeds to spend the rest of the day cuddling with Danny.

Tomorrow, and with it the talk that is seemingly long overdue, will happen soon enough.


	7. Chapter 7

They're sitting in the hammock once again, Danny cuddled up to Steve and gently rocking while a warm breeze brings the smell of the ocean to them. Steve has his nose in Danny's mussed up hair, and enjoys the perfect moment. They both know it won't last.

"I trusted you to say stop, Danno. Why didn't you?" He knows that Danny had to have known that this talk would come, but still the man stiffens in his arms.

"I thought I could take the… paddle, I'm sor…"

"Don't say you're sorry. And don't lie to me, Daniel."

He uses the voice inflection he’s always used since they started this, and if nothing else, he knows that Danny responds to it. That at least, he hopes, was honest.

At the least, it works now, because Danny shuts up and audibly swallows.

"You want to know what I think? I think in the month we've been doing this, there was more than once when you should have used your safe word, because you weren’t comfortable. At the very least, you should have used 'yellow', to slow things down. And I, I probably should have known that this was too good to be true, someone unfamiliar with this lifestyle accepting everything so effortlessly, but god damnit, Danno, I trusted you to tell me to stop or to slow down. So why the hell didn't you? Did you think I wouldn't want you if you said 'stop'?"

And that, exactly that moment when the words leave his mouth, and when Danny stiffens further in his arms, is when Steve knows that that's exactly it. And once again he hears the words Danny had murmured, seemingly so long ago, when he had first broached this topic.

_“Just once I’d like to be enough for someone as I am.”_

_“Don’t tell me no when it’s clearly a lie. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I were enough for you as I am, now would we?!”_

"Danny… this I not what I wanted."

It is evidently the wrong thing to say.

Suddenly he has a spitfire in his arms, a disgruntled and angry cat that squirms around and nearly kicks them both out of the hammock, before he has himself positioned as he wants, straddling Steve despite the pain he must be feeling and facing him and angrily hitting Steve's chest with his fists, until the larger man manages to get a hold on them.

"Stop Danny, stop. Stop!"

"Don't tell me to stop, you bastard. I did what you wanted; you don't get to tell me now you don't. I… I let you do all this… all this stuff to me and now you don't get to tell me you didn't want me too."

It's such a fucking mess, and Steve has no idea how it turned out this way. He thought they were doing okay, he thought they were fine, only they're not and he has no idea how to fix this.

"Not like this, Danny, never like this. Never like this," he whispers brokenly and pulls the struggling man into his chest, refusing to let go.

"When we talked about this, when we 'negotiated' you were supposed to tell me what you didn't like, didn't want. And even after, I trusted you to use the safe words, to tell me what was okay. I can't read minds, Danno. If you don't tell me, I won't know, and if I don't know, I won't stop and …"

And he has to stop that train of thought right there, before he ends up talking himself into things far uglier than he wants to contemplate.

"I trusted you to tell me, Danny. Never, I never wanted you to think that you had to go along with whatever I wanted. That's not what this is about."

"This is all so fucked up." Danny murmurs quietly. "I thought I could do this, be everything you want. I thought I would be okay with it, if only I wouldn't lose you. I was so sure I could do it, Steve, for you. For us. Because when I thought about losing you over something like sex, I thought I would die."

And that's when Steve really feels like crying, because he started this whole mess. Over sex. Over something stupid and now seemingly unimportant like sex.

"It's about compromise, Danno. I never expected you to go along with everything. You were okay with telling me what you didn't want in the beginning. Why not later?"

"That was… the big stuff. I thought, like, with the smaller stuff, if I kept saying no, or tried to negotiate, it would be too much. I wanted you to get what you needed, Steve. I just wanted to make you happy."

"The small stuff is important, too. No one likes everything, be it vanilla sex or kinky lifestyle. I never expected you to match me 100%, Danny. Unless I clone myself, no one ever will. I don't like everything that you do either, you know that. My happiness is not worth more than yours. Never more than yours."

************************

What follows is not easy.

They put their sex life on ice, kinky and non kinky stuff. For some time there aren't even soft touches in passing or absentminded kisses, but those they can't resist for long.

What they do though, is talk. And talk. And talk some more. They should have done that before, but to be fair, Steve had thought they did. In retrospect, he can admit that that had been a bit doe-eyed but for once he refuses to shoulder the blame alone.

It's not easy, the whole thing at times feels like a bomb ready to explode, but Steve knows how to handle bombs and proceeds to move slowly and carefully, holding on to the belief that ultimately they will be able to resolve this.

During these long talks, Danny admits that while disturbed by it, he had mostly enjoyed having Steve in charge, taking care of him. It's a big relief to hear that, for one because it means that at least they are compatible, but also because Steve had at times nearly felt like a rapist, thinking he had done things to Danny the man had absolutely not wanted.

While not true to that extent, there certainly had been points Danny had not enjoyed.

"I was going crazy, babe," Danny says one afternoon, waving his arms around. "You kept my hands bound all the time and I just… I need to be able to move. And not only that, I want to touch you, I _need_ to touch you. And you wouldn't let me. I won't say I didn't enjoy it at times, but ultimately, I can't stand being tied down all the time, Steve. It makes me feel as if I'll explode, and not in a good way."

It's the first big point of difference, and after seeing Steve be okay with it, accept it, talking about the kinks gets easier.

So what if Steve likes to tie up people. Danny says it's okay sometimes, and that's enough for Steve. Not perfect, not what he'd wish for, but enough to make him happy. Like he had told Danny, thinking he'd be able to get everything, from any one partner, is illusory.

They end up negotiating everything they did during their kinky ‘adventure' and many things Steve still had planned. Surprisingly, it's the still open stuff that's harder to discuss, mainly because Steve still doesn't trust Danny with the safe words. But they'll work on that, like on everything else, and until they get back to where they were, Steve will just have to be extra careful.

What they end up with, roughly agreed upon and open to changes, is that Steve is allowed to keep taking care of Danny full time concerning stuff like sun screen, and food and enforcing bedtime if necessary. Danny even agrees, though blushing and looking away, to asking to use the toilet.

"I… liked all that. I don't understand it, but I liked it," he admits in a hushed voice.

For the sexual stuff, they first of all break down the play time. Steve had wanted full time when at home, but Danny can't do that. He needs normal time, and if he needs it, Steve will give it to him. It's only fair.

He ends up buying a silver chain bracelet for Danny, which they use as an additional indicator of Danny's mood. If he takes it off at home, it's their normal, vanilla couple time. If he wears it, he's Steve's. The idea is kind of perfect, but again it comes back to Steve having to trust Danny to do what he needs. He makes him promise three times to do so and hopes that will be enough.

A sign that these changes are actually working is when Steve gets a thumbs up from Kono and Chin a few weeks later.

And when he and Danny once again sit in their hammock, cuddled up together and enjoying yet another sunset and Steve asks Danny: "Do you think we'll be okay?"

He gets a brilliant smile in return, one of those blinding ones that are reserved just for him. "You bet we will, babe."

And that is enough for Steve. If Danny believes in it, he will too.

~End~


End file.
